<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Things Overheard (Hiding Under the Bed of the King of Athens) by Dandy</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28845120">Things Overheard (Hiding Under the Bed of the King of Athens)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dandy/pseuds/Dandy'>Dandy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hades (Video Game 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidental Voyeurism, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:41:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,468</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28845120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dandy/pseuds/Dandy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He realizes his mistake as soon as he’s inside: there, covering the entire wall, is a tapestry depicting Theseus himself, which means this is undoubtedly his room. “Somehow this is even tackier than I expected,” he mutters to himself, but unfortunately he has no time to further soliloquize about the hideousness of Theseus’s choice of decor.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Instead, he dives under Theseus’s bed.</i>
</p>
<p>Theseus and Asterius make sweet, adoring love to each other. Zagreus maybe learns why Asterius puts up with Theseus in the first place. Aphrodite lives her best life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Asterius | The Minotaur/Theseus (Hades Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>416</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Hades Kink Meme</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Things Overheard (Hiding Under the Bed of the King of Athens)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For this kinkmeme prompt: https://hadeskinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/741.html?thread=123621#cmt123621</p>
<p>
  <i>Zagreus accidentally stumbles upon Theseus's and Asterius's quarters, hears Theseus approaching and - not wanting to explain to him why he's there - quickly hides under the bed. Theseus enters with Asterius in tow, and Zag has to keep hiding while the two have the most sickeningly sweet and loving sex. Who tops isn't important, I'd just love to see Zag witness what Theseus and Asterius are like when they think no one sees them, how devoted and ridiculously in love they are.</i>
</p>
<p>Hello Hades fandom, I have come to you with my overpowering Theseus/Asterius brainrot to present you this offering. I hope you like it!</p>
<p>CW for Zagreus's intense secondhand embarrassment.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zagreus is lost, and it is not his fault.</p>
<p>It’s the fault of the ever-shifting fields of Elysium, and, by that token, at least somewhat his father’s fault. Typical. But regardless of where the blame lies, the fact is that Zagreus is lost, and instead of making it to the arena, he is wandering around the halls of the coliseum, among the rooms where the most exalted fighters reside. There are shades here, milling about, but at his approach they scatter before he can so much as ask for directions. </p>
<p>At least they aren’t trying to fight him, but is it too much to ask that his father not turn the entirety of the Underworld against him?</p>
<p>He’s just stopped to sigh in frustration, running a hand through his hair, when he hears a voice from around the corner that sends him into a panic.</p>
<p>“What an absolutely bracing workout, friend Asterius! With the progress we’ve made today, I’m sure we will handily defeat the hellspawn when next he shows his accursed face!”</p>
<p>Oh great. His accursed face is right here. And the last thing he wants to do is fight them in a hallway, with no room to dodge. There’s no way he can reach the end of the hall before Theseus and Asterius turn the corner, so his only option is to dash into the nearest room, quickly shutting the door.</p>
<p>He realizes his mistake as soon as he’s inside: there, covering the entire wall, is a tapestry depicting Theseus himself, which means this is undoubtedly his room. “Somehow this is even tackier than I expected,” he mutters to himself, but unfortunately he has no time to further soliloquize about the hideousness of Theseus’s choice of decor.</p>
<p>Instead, he dives under Theseus’s bed. Thankfully it’s large enough that he fits, and messy enough that no one will notice if the blankets slip a bit further down to shield him. Being a Chthonic god, breathing is optional for him, so he stills and waits for them to come.</p>
<p>If he’s lucky, they’re just here to grab something and be on their way, and then he can do the same.</p>
<p>The door opens and two sets of footsteps enter, Theseus’s light, Asterius’s heavy. Theseus is still talking non-stop, <i>the last victory</i> this and <i>King of Athens</i> that, and Zagreus zones out. He wonders if Asterius is listening, either, given that he only grunts during Theseus’s infrequent pauses.</p>
<p>He’s said this before, and he’ll say it again: he doesn’t know what Asterius sees in him.</p>
<p>After awhile, Theseus says, “Asterius, you’ve been quiet,” and Zagreus has to bite back a laugh. It’s not like Theseus gave Asterius time to speak, so how can he determine if the minotaur has been more quiet than usual?</p>
<p>“It’s nothing, King. Don’t trouble yourself.”</p>
<p>“Nonsense, Asterius - if something is wrong, you must tell me at once!” Hm, maybe Zagreus should reconsider his evaluation that Theseus only cares for himself. “If you are not in tip-top shape, then how can you support me in the next fight?” Nope, never mind, no reconsideration necessary.</p>
<p>“It is only my shoulders. They grow sore from training.”</p>
<p>“Ah, see, you should have certainly told me this right away! You know I can fix that right up, after all!”</p>
<p>“The shades say that the short one has already entered Elysium. We should go prepare for his arrival.”</p>
<p>“Nonsense! That daemon will just have to wait until we’re good and ready!”</p>
<p><i>Hey!</i> Zagreus wants to say, but does not. Besides the obvious reasons, he doesn’t mind if Asterius needs a break. He’s just doing his job, after all!</p>
<p>“Come, sit,” says Theseus, and a moment later the bed sags low under Asterius’s weight. Zagreus scrambles away from the deepest of it - he does <i>not</i> want something like, “Crushed to death under Theseus’s bed,” ending up on Hypnos’s ledger!</p>
<p>Theseus falls surprisingly silent. The bed dips again, though less so, as he climbs on top of it to tend to Asterius, and the quiet stretches unbroken until the minotaur lets out a long, pleased snort.</p>
<p>“A<i>ha</i>!” cries Theseus in triumph. “Found the spot, have I?”</p>
<p>“You always do,” says Asterius, and Zagreus is faced with the fact that Theseus apparently gives Asterius these massages (if that is indeed what he’s doing up there) often. It’s… surprisingly sweet. Sweeter than he thought Theseus capable of being, anyway.</p>
<p>This continues for some time, with Asterius grunting or snorting and Theseus responding with pleased remarks, or sometimes saying things like, “I am as enraptured by the rippling muscles of your back as ever, Asterius!” until suddenly the only noises Zagreus can hear are soft, wet…</p>
<p>Oh no. They’re kissing. Or at least so much as they can with Asterius’s unique facial structure - from the noises, Zagreus assumes it involves a lot of licking.</p>
<p>Massage <i>and</i> kissing, in Theseus’s bed… Zagreus is fairly sure that whatever color he has has just drained from his face. He knows where this is headed. And he has no choice but to lay here and listen to it.</p>
<p>Somehow, the realization that Asterius and Theseus are having sex isn’t all that shocking - Theseus in particular is always getting wound up about their “fraternal bonds” and “eternal devotion,” and he’s seen enough relationships between Grecian men to know where that sort of talk usually leads. But if he had ever been asked to picture it (and he really, truly, did not want to picture anyone having sex with Theseus), he would have imagined something significantly more rough and tumble, with Theseus acting like the prick he is the whole time.</p>
<p>Whatever’s happening above him does not seem particularly rough or tumbly. Instead, given the way the bed has sunk down even more, Asterius is lying down, and Zagreus can only guess that Theseus is on top of him because he doesn’t know how they would fit otherwise.</p>
<p>“Have I told you recently how gorgeous you are?” asks Theseus, his volume only slightly lowered from its normal level. Zagreus pities their neighbors.</p>
<p>“Yes, my king. Several times.”</p>
<p>“Well I shall gladly tell you once more! You are <i>gorgeous</i>, Asterius. I have scarcely been able to take my eyes off you all day.”</p>
<p>“So you often say, but I find it difficult to believe.”</p>
<p>“Difficult to believe!? Do you think I would lie to you, dear Asterius?” Theseus makes an overly dramatic noise of affront, at the same time a thump heralds the arrival of his champion’s belt into the floor. </p>
<p>“No, my king. I don’t think you lie.”</p>
<p>“Then believe me when I tell you this.” The softer whump of cloth into the floor follows. “I have never met a being in this or any realm more beautiful than you.”</p>
<p>Laying it on thick, in Zagreus’s opinion, but Asterius must like it because they’re kissing again. Asterius’s belt and clothes go into the floor next.</p>
<p>“I have a hard time believing it,” says Asterius, “because surely the most beautiful in all the realms is you, my king.”</p>
<p>Theseus makes a pleased noise; Zagreus rolls his eyes. “Then my dear, we shall declare it a tie! As we are the Champions of Elysium, so are we champions in all other respe-“</p>
<p>He cuts himself off with a high pitched keen of surprise, which Asterius follows up with a low, throaty chuckle.</p>
<p>“A-asterius! You did not wait for me to finish!” Theseus is nearly wheezing.</p>
<p>“I couldn’t resist. Your reactions are cute.”</p>
<p>Zagreus tries to imagine how whatever face made that noise could possibly be cute. He just can’t make it match up. Maybe Asterius never properly learned what cute means.</p>
<p>“Yes, well…” And for the first time, Theseus’s voice drops in volume to something that doesn’t threaten Zagreus with deafness. He sounds surprisingly normal, when he isn’t projecting to Olympus. “Perhaps I was running on too long. Sometimes I cannot stop myself, when it comes to you.”</p>
<p>“I do not mind it. If you want to say those things, you should.”</p>
<p>“I do.” He sounds so openly sincere. “But for now, I think my mouth would be better employed elsewhere.”</p>
<p>Asterius’s pleased hum turns into a needy moan as Theseus begins whatever it is he’s doing up there; Zagreus has a few inklings. Who knew that Theseus would volunteer his mouth to other pursuits than singing his praises all on his own? Zagreus is very nearly impressed.</p>
<p>This continues for a few minutes, Asterius occasionally disturbing the silence by muttering Theseus’s name, before he says, “If you go much longer, my king, I’ll finish too early.”</p>
<p>There’s a wet pop, and Theseus says, “I’ve half a mind to take you up on that.” But he chuckles, and Zagreus can hear him moving around.</p>
<p>“Do not. I want more from you than that.”</p>
<p>“Ask and you shall receive.”</p>
<p>There’s a moment’s quiet more, then Theseus makes a rather loud and needy noise of his own. He’s making much more of a show than Asterius, saying, “Yes, Asterius, right there!” and, “I can take one more,” so Zagreus thinks he has a good idea what’s going on up there.</p>
<p>So Theseus is receiving, rather than giving? He’s surprised his pride allows for that, but he’s increasingly getting the sense that pride is not much of a factor here, in (what they think is) private.</p>
<p>They must have finished, because Theseus is moving around again. Asterius is still lying down. Zagreus can’t help but wonder how big Asterius is - he must be <i>huge</i>, if the rest of him is anything to go by. Unbidden, his mind starts trying to picture it, Asterius’s huge, erect cock, and Theseus lowering himself down onto it…</p>
<p>“And now,” Theseus’s voice rises in volume again, “I shall ride the bull!”</p>
<p>Asterius chuckles. Zagreus covers his face with his hands to hold back his scream. Boner successfully averted.</p>
<p>The mattress above him starts to shake and rock as they both start moving, huffing and moaning in their exertion. Zagreus has to slide up against the wall as close as he can, the chance of being crushed and having that humiliation on the official death record still a looming threat. He expects Theseus to start up those over dramatic noises again, but Theseus is surprisingly much more quiet.</p>
<p>He’s still talking though, Zagreus can hear him. Little sweet nothings that fall from his mouth between moans.</p>
<p>“Yes, yes, Asterius, that’s so good… Please, faster, my beloved, I need more… You are incredible, gorgeous, <i>mine</i>, Asterius, Asterius…”</p>
<p>He’s saying the name like a prayer to the Gods now. Even as embarrassing as this is to listen to, Zagreus can’t help but think that if Theseus said <i>his</i> name like that (or at all), maybe he’d start to understand what Asterius sees in him. <i>Maybe</i>.</p>
<p>Asterius lets out one loud, long moan of pleasure, finished. Good for him, thinks Zagreus. He can’t be sure, but he must take up Theseus’s cock next, because Theseus is still making noises.</p>
<p>“My king,” says Asterius, “when you are astride me, like this, I know what it is to see the sun.”</p>
<p>Theseus comes with a shout. He very well ought to, thinks Zagreus, because that’s one of the most romantic things he’s ever heard. Godsdamn.</p>
<p>Silence stretches over the room like a warm blanket. There’s some rustling that is probably Theseus getting more comfortable, a few more soft, wet sounds as he likely peppers kisses over Asterius’s chest. Then nothing for a minute or two, and Zagreus hopes they’ve fallen asleep.</p>
<p>Then…</p>
<p>“Would that I could show you the real sun, my beloved bull.”</p>
<p>“You have done enough for me, King. Do not trouble yourself.”</p>
<p>“It is not <i>trouble</i>, Asterius, it is-”</p>
<p>Asterius cuts him off with a kiss before he can get worked up. His voice is low when it speaks.</p>
<p>“I love you, Theseus. Being here with you is more than anything the surface could give me.”</p>
<p>And Theseus’s voice is low and raw, completely lacking its usual affect.</p>
<p>“Then stay with me always, my beloved.”</p>
<p>“I shall.”</p>
<p>Zagreus wishes he could unhear it. Not because it’s embarrassing (although it is, who knew these two were so… <i>schmoopy</i>), but because this isn’t meant for him. These are private words between lovers, intimate vows made for their ears only.</p>
<p>But, well… he has to admit (begrudgingly) that maybe Theseus isn’t <i>as bad</i> as he thought. At least he is treating Asterius the way he deserves. Points in his favor, Zagreus supposes.</p>
<p>As for Asterius himself, Zagreus never thought <i>cute</i> would be a word he could apply to the Bull of Minos, but who knew? He respects Asterius - thinks of him as something of a friend. He’s glad, to hear him so happy.</p>
<p>The two of them clean up slowly, Theseus’s chatter about <i>the last victory</i> this and <i>King of Athens</i> that starting up again, though more subdued now. They get off the bed and back into their clothes, and when Zagreus dares peek past the blanket he can see Theseus braiding laurels into Asterius’s hair.</p>
<p>“Now!” says Theseus when that is finished, his voice bouncing back to its normal volume, “I believe we are refreshed and ready to crush that filthy hellspawn under our heel once again!” </p>
<p>Any warm feelings Zagreus had started to grow for Theseus instantly wither and die.</p>
<p>“Yes, my King,” says Asterius, sounding a bit placating. There is the clink of metal as they take up their weapons, then the door opens, and Zagreus listens as their footsteps and Theseus’s ceaseless babble fade away.</p>
<p><i>Finally</i>.</p>
<p>He rolls out from under the bed, dusting off his clothes and hair. He knows this is the afterlife, but who knows when was the last time Theseus cleaned under there! Then, after listening at the door a moment longer to be safe, he emerges back into the hall.</p>
<p>To his surprise, there is a boon waiting there - one of Aphrodite’s.</p>
<p>Instantly, his face flushes, but he can’t leave without accepting the boon, lest he incur her wrath. So he reaches out to touch it, saying quietly, “I accept this message, Lady Aphrodite.”</p>
<p>“Zagreus!” She sings his name, sounding pleased. “My son, Eros, has just informed me that you have been quite the naughty boy lately! And Theseus and the Bull! Who could have guessed? Well, besides me, of course.”</p>
<p>The choice of boons is presented to a slack-jawed Zagreus, standing flabbergasted in the middle of the corridor. It takes him a long moment, but finally he glances around to be sure he’s alone, then runs a hand over his face and selects one of the boons.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Lady Aphrodite. And, uh… let’s keep this between us, shall we?”</p>
<p>Her laugh fades into the empty air, leaving him to make his way to the arena.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know Eros isn't in Hades but I assume he's <i>around</i>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>